A continuation of yesterday’s post:

I stayed out of the great “gay debate” that swirled around the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. There was a great deal of misinformation being pushed about that, on a local level, I sought to correct but given the political nature about the whole thing (and me being a federal chaplain) I felt it necessary to stay out of the debate until it was concluded how we would move forward.

As a citizen, I have strong opinions and feelings about this (and many other issues), but as a Soldier, I also follow the orders given, salute the flag, and drive on. There is also the imperative of a chaplain to be a moral voice to power. It is within my mission as chaplain to advocate for the powerless and speak truth to power in a respectful way. Navigating the nuances of these conversations can be and have been a struggle.

Today, I read an article about how gay military families have found a warm welcome within the ranks and at unit events etc. The article highlighted the fact that there has been no negative impact of recognizing same-sex couples in the military. There have always been gay Soldiers. Now at least they don’t have to lie about it.

During my first deployment, I had a Soldier I could tell was struggling with something but seemed to never want to talk about it. I watched the Soldier move deeper into depression. Finally, after a couple of months of relationship building (I suspect it was when the Soldier felt safety with me), the individual confided that their seven year same sex relationship was starting to fail (as many relationships fail during deployments) and how their depression was impacting them. It was a moment when I realized how terribly crippling it can be to have a struggle (that most everyone around shares) but be unable to find solidarity with others because of judgement.

Regardless of how an individual believes about this subject, surely, grief and pain are grief and pain. I reached out to the Soldier and learned something about myself, my ministry, and Christ.

I’m glad DADT was repealed. Not because of my beliefs about this issue but because of the freedom that individuals now have to be who they are in the public spere. Much is asked of Soldiers. There are standards of behavior and conduct that we abide by that the rest of the Country does not. This has not nor should it change. Thankfully, honesty is one of them.